January 3, 2010

Friendship

Today a friend of mine posed the question...or rather the statement....a Friendship shouldn't be work.  A marriage takes work, compromise, and effort. Well all know that.  But, a friendship should be easy.  I started thinking about that.  I have a lot of friends.  But, only a few of them are really my friends.  You know the kind that know all about you and still love you.  Some have been there for you to cry on...Monica, for example was there for everysingle boyfriend caused tears that i have ever had.  Autumn was there for several of them.  They see you do stupid things.  They support you, encourage you, tell you how stupid your being, and still pretend to like the idiot you were crying over last week.  Those two know absolutely every thing there is to know about me.  I had other friends along that path...but they are the only ones still there.  My friendships with them are not work...they just are.  I have some friends here that are not work...they just are.  How many people say that about me?  I wonder...am I a good friend?  Am I the person that they know they could call at three am because they had a fight with someone....and know I would answer.  Today I learned that not all friendships are created equal.  Some are work.  Some are not honest.  Some are onesided.  So now I must figure out how to move forward and be the type of friend that just is....and figure out how to balance the ones that are sooo much work. 

3 comments:

Julie said...

I have to disagree with the statement, "a friendship shouldn't be work." Any relationship requires work...compromise...understanding...working through conflict. A friendship is no different.
I have a very dear friend whom I have been super close to for over 15 years. We have had our ups and downs, our disagreements (MAJOR disagreements on faith, raising children, marriage problems, church, healing, etc.) and yet we have worked through the issues and continue to be very close friends. I have learned from experience that anything worth having, is going to take work at some point or another. : )

Mrshappy said...

Julie, my main point here was...there are those friendships that are sooo totally one sided and not worth it. The ones that you do all of the work, all of the compromise, all of the understanding....over and over again. The unhealthy ones. Those are the ones I am talking about. The ones that drain the life out of you. Not the ones that are a give and take and love each other through the good, bad, hard, and frustrating. Those are worth it. I guess I am talking about the ones that you try, try, try and it eats you alive....does that make sence?

Julie said...

Yes, that does make sense. And I get that. I have had "friendships" like that, and eventually had to let the relationship go. I hope you didn't take my comment the wrong way. : ) It was one of my opinionated days.